Missing wife or car?

A Missing Wife

A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife:

Husband :-I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn’t come back yet.
Inspector :-What is her height ?
Husband:-I never checked.
Inspector :-Slim or healthy ?.
Husband:-Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector :-Color of eyes ?
Husband :-Never noticed.
Inspector :-Color of hair ?
Husband :-Changes according to season.
Inspector :-What was she wearing?
Husband :Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector :-Was she driving?
Husband :-yes.
Inspector :-tell me the number, name & color of the car ? . . . . ….
Husband :-black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.….and then the husband started crying…


Inspector:-Don’t worry sir,…. . .We will find your car.

Problems with Windows :)

Image result for windows password change

A Senior Trying To Set A Password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER:50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Lie Detector – funny for the day

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, “I did some schoolwork.”
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”

Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”

Son says, “Toy Story.”
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”

Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.”
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.