A Missing Wife
A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife:
Husband :-I lost my wife, she went shopping & hasn’t come back yet.
Inspector :-What is her height ?
Husband:-I never checked.
Inspector :-Slim or healthy ?.
Husband:-Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector :-Color of eyes ?
Husband :-Never noticed.
Inspector :-Color of hair ?
Husband :-Changes according to season.
Inspector :-What was she wearing?
Husband :Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector :-Was she driving?
Inspector :-tell me the number, name & color of the car ? . . . . ….
Husband :-black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.….and then the husband started crying…
Inspector:-Don’t worry sir,…. . .We will find your car.
A Senior Trying To Set A Password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, “I did some schoolwork.”
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, “Ok, Ok. I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”
Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”
Son says, “Toy Story.”
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.”
Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.”
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.
I’ve wanted to start sharing a funny or a quirky thing of a day. This one was passed to me recently.
This may be the best definition of a “True Friend” …
What is your thought on Electric cars? Are they really cheaper to drive? I’ve been looking at new vehicles, and the incentives are quite good on electric cars. This helps me lean towards getting an electric vehicle.. but which one to get? Some vehicles qualify for better incentives, others for lesser incentives.. but in the end, it is I as a consumer that has to use it, and maintain it.. and apparently its not cheap.
I’m curious to hear what others think about getting a new vehicle in 2017. Is it worth to get an electric? Are the issues with electric cars ironed out?
The days of summer are here. Today the temperature reached 35°C and we were all enjoying our air conditioning running. Humidity is just starting so its not a bad heat, but after months of low to mid teen’s weather this is a wonderful change. Soon we will dislike the hot weather, we will want it to cool off, however for now, this is a welcomed change.
Personally I like summer, but here in Canada summers are short. After all, its only 2-3 months of summer hot weather. I enjoy riding bikes, going for long walks, driving up to the great lakes for the day. Nature has a lot to offer. Unfortunately our lives are so busy that we don’t take the time to enjoy it. Sometimes I wish I had a lot of money so that I can enjoy more of nature, and have more time to spend with my family.
It has been a few months since I’ve posted to my blog, I have been busy with my family.
In this blog I wanted to speak to new years, new beginnings. For many people New Year means new beginnings, new opportunities, new year’s resolutions. It seems as though that for most, new years resolutions end after the first few days. There are a select few that will keep the new year resolution until end of January (good for you for sticking it out).There is also an extreme minority that keeps their new year’s resolutions longer; I applaud your dedication.
I have been wondering lately if we don’t keep those resolutions because they are too big or too time consuming, or because it is easier to make resolutions and update them on quarterly, monthly or even weekly basis?
I think with our daily lives, we need to take some time and review our goals and resolutions on more regular basis.
Best wishes for 2017 to you all.
Happy birthday our bundle of joy. May you have beautiful smiles for the rest of your life, good health and prosperity. Mama and Tata love you. 4:36am on October 21, 2015 was the happiest moment in my life. Kochamy Cię z całego serca, niechaj Ci się powodzi w całym Twoim życiu. Sto Lat Markus!
No matter where you look, you can see that fall is here in Canada. The trees are looking so beautiful, all the colors are changing and the leafs are starting to fall down. It’s also much cooler outside, especially at night. Sleeping with an open window you must put a blanket to cover yourself, or in the morning you will be really cold.
Fall season is associated with cold and flu. The temperature change allows for the bacteria to coma back to life, and attack us human beings. Yes, I’ve been unfortunate as well. First my 11 month old son picked up a fever and stuffy nose. He shared his germs with my wife. She on the other hand shared them with me. Oh the act of love. You share everything, hugs and kisses and those nasty germs.
Like most Canadians to me this means a winter is near. Snow is coming, it’s inevitable. I really hope that this year the winter is mild.
Lately I’ve been trying to diet alongside my lovely wife. It’s definitely been adventurous and I’ve noticed that good diet makes me feel better. I guess it’s correct, you are what you eat.
We decided to follow a diet of no carbs. It is a very difficult diet because every meal we’ve had previously had carbs. No bread, rice, quinoa, potatoes. Pretty much nothing yummy. It’s very difficult to be on this diet because I have to remember that I’m on it, and remember what I’m not allowed to eat.
We also decided to not eat sugar. That was a bit less challenging for me as I rarely have a sweet tooth. I tend not to have desert after dinner, so only when it’s given to me, I’ll munch. What can I say, I don’t like to ruin a good meal with desert.
This morning I took a flight from Toronto to Ottawa. It’s a short flight, so usually they give you a snack and a small drink. My wife informed me that morning flights get a cookie. I was very disappointed because as you probably gathered I like pretzels.
I tried many pretzels, and I seriously can’t find ones like these anywhere in the stores. Wow, you diet so much and someone wiggles something you love in front of your nose, and you forget all about that diet. I love Air Canada pretzels, and am always happy to be on short flights that serve them. I just wish there was more!
From all the pretzels I’ve had, these are best. I’ve got no idea what they put in them, or whether they’re so fresh, but they taste amazing.
This short flight was definitely worth breaking my diet habits today. Thanks for reading, and next time you’re on a short Air Canada flight, enjoy the treat, hopefully you get their amazing pretzels.